Dear Abby,

I've been with my boyfriend for 7 years now and we've lived together for 6. Even though recently he's finally, somewhat open to discussing marriage, he' yet to give me a straight reason as to why we aren't married yet or even engaged. I get a lot of "Be patient" and "We will when the time is right"....

I know that he's just as crazy about me as I am of him but that's why I don't understand why he is so afraid of marriage. He knows I don't need, nor want a huge fancy wedding. Or a big expensive diamond. So money shouldn't be an issue. I'd be just as happy to go down to City Hall because to me it's the commitment that's important. It's what marriage represents that's important. And I think I've been patient long enough. I've thought of giving him an ultimatum but wouldn't that be cruel? Or what if he chose to leave?.... But, if I don't do something, what if I wait out all my life for a proposal and it never comes?

I've considered asking him but in a conversation we had long ago, he had mentioned that he wouldn't feel right if he wasn't the one to propose. How do I get through this? I love this man desperately and want the security of marriage.

Please help,
Longing To Marry

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